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theandygrant

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Joined: 19 Feb 2006
Posts: 176

PostPosted: 15 Mar 2008 2:18 pm    Post subject: The Minotaur Reply with quote

the minotaur

by edgar andy poe

once upon a contest dragging
while I pondered weak and lagging
over many a tough and cryptic puzzle of forgotten pain

while I atbashed, nearly rocking
suddenly there came a hocking
as of someone gently mocking, mocking at my lack of gain
tis some memory I muttered, mocking at my lack of gain
only this, my puzzled brain

ah, distinctly I remember
it was in the chill September
and each Puzzle Files member wrestled not to go insane

eagerly I fought the puzzle
vainly I had sought to nuzzle
from my thoughts cercease of tussle, tussle with this twisting lane
from the labyrinthian madness forged around this twisting lane
but my efforts were in vain

the silken secret lurking
deep within each puzzle's working
thrilled me, filled me with fantastic triumphs suited for a thane

so that now to quell the greedy
tantalising of the needy
I indulged the riddle's weedy chipping at my fevered brain
small but everpresent weedy chipping at my fevered brain
take a breath and try again

presently my thoughts grew stronger
hesistating then no longer
in I plunged with one inspired guess to end the puzzle's reign

but the fact is I was taken
in by an idea mistaken
oh come now, come thoughts, awaken waken and defeat this bane
then so certain, sure I'd solved it, here I typed in once again
darkness there and all in vain

deep into those hippos peering,
long I stood there pondering, veering,
doubting that to get inside a wooden box the creatures deign

but the silence was unbroken
and no doctor's oath was spoken
and my brow with sweat was soaken as a boat upon the Seine
This I mopped and with a hairbrush tidied up my mussled mane
noticing one bulging vein

settled now my thoughts were stirring
all my cogs within me whirring
when I softly heard a purring that grew louder then would wane

surely, said I, something haunts me
something evil present taunts me
let me show then nothing daunts me and this mystery explain
let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explain
tis no doubt the wind and rain

but then with a mighty clatter
through the door strode something fatter
meaner, hairier, hornier with a face that caused me pain

not the least decorum made he
not a forum rule obeyed he
stepping forth from out the shady confines of the country lane
tracking in the muddy mulchy debris of the country lane
twill incense my cleaner Jane

then this monstrous foe bewitching
my left eyelid into twitching
by the grave and fearsome visage towering o'er me like a crane

though thy head be horned and bovine
and thy smell distinctly ovine
ghastly grimice pray now show thine purpose as my carpets stain
tell me what thy earthly purpose means as my plush carpets stain
quoth the monster try again

much I marvelled at this hirsute
beast to hear endorse such pursuit
though its answer little insight, little hinting did it feign

for I cannot help suggesting
that the beast must have been jesting
as no puzzle worth the testing could be solved without some strain
neither vignere morse nor rebus could be solved without some strain
with the method far from plain

but the monster not yet seated
with those same two words repeated
that one phrase as if my efforts as to date he did disdain

nothing furthermore declaring
staring madly nostrils flaring
til it felt my flesh were tearing trapped as if tied by a chain
quite unable for to move my legs as if tied by a chain
then the beast said try again

startled at the stillness shattered
by reply so gruff and tattered
doubtless, said I, what it chattered is its only stock refrain

caught by some unhappy dark thug
whose unmerciful and stark mug
bound him to that dastard Sparkplug trapped here on this earthly plane
bound him in his service whilst residing on this earthly plane
to try and try again

but the monster still all hairy
and more than a little scary
forced me 'cross the room to fetch some pencils pens and sheets of plain

there upon the paper's doodle
looking like naught else but noodle
dimmed my brain until a clue dull stood out from the background grain
until a precious hint of clue dull stood out from the background grain
and gave my thoughts a crutch or cane

thus I sat engaged in thinking
picture unto answer linking
with the foul and gruesome guardian quietly knitting from a skein

on swivel chair I sat revolving
puzzle after puzzle solving
at this rate I'd have the whole thing wrapped up by the morning train
by the cramped and crowded ordeal of the daily morning train
to face that crush, ah, not again

then my progress seemed to stall
before me loomed a great brick wall
faced now with no choice but to go back and take a different lane

wretch, I cried, thou Cretan bunny
I suppose you think that's funny
with my mood no longer sunny all my efforts down the drain
my brief disposition sunny disappearing down the drain
quoth the monster try again

creature said I thing of puzzle
creature still with bullish muzzle
whether Sparkplug sent or whether darker forces hold thy rein

take that hint so pure and vital
reconsidering the title
looking in a different light'll show things in a whole new vein
is there, is there one more answer to reveal new path or plane
quoth the monster try again

creature said I thing of puzzle
creature still with bullish muzzle
by that maze that bends around us by that labyrinth of pain

tell this soul whose riddles vex it
if within there lies an exit
then shall ancient curses hex it as was marked ancestral Cain
for this cursed twisting maze doth make me Abel to its Cain
quoth the monster try again

be that phrase our sign of parting
horny beast, I shrieked upstarting
get thee back into the labyrinth and thy tormenting abstein

leave at once in extradition
of that sinister repetition
leave me to my thankless mission leave me while I still am sane
take thy horns from out my heart and depart while I still am sane
quoth the monster try again

and the monster never flitting
still is sitting, still is knitting
on the rocking chair besides the muddy mark where it had lain

and his eyes with hate are bitten
like some dark sepulchral kitten
and his thirty seventh mitten joins its brethren piled in chain
and my notes on all the puzzles twist around that knitted chain
evermore to try again
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vetti

Site Multi-tasker


Joined: 06 Aug 2005
Posts: 1049
Location: Sydney, Aus

PostPosted: 16 Mar 2008 3:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Absolutley brilliant Andy!! Thumbs Up
Sums him up pretty well! Laughing

A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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Kelly

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Joined: 19 Apr 2006
Posts: 2906
Location: UK

PostPosted: 25 Mar 2008 4:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's my bf you're talking about!!!!!

Thumbs Up nice one Andy!

www.JosephMcKelheer.com
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SparkPlug

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Joined: 06 Aug 2005
Posts: 5238

PostPosted: 25 Mar 2008 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oooooooohhh.... look who they've let out of rehab Very Happy
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Kelly

Member


Joined: 19 Apr 2006
Posts: 2906
Location: UK

PostPosted: 25 Mar 2008 7:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

They told me to stay in rehab, I said no, no, no!

God I hate that song...

How's it going Mr S?

www.JosephMcKelheer.com
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Radka

Member


Joined: 18 Apr 2006
Posts: 1156

PostPosted: 25 Mar 2008 8:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

She only came out because she wanted to see me post this:

AndyGrant Pie

By Don McRadka

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How these threads used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make Andy dance
And, maybe, he’d be a pie for a while.

But October 5th made me shiver
With every answer I’d deliver.
Bad clues on the doorstep;
I couldn’t take one more step.

I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about Andy’s swallowed pie,
But something touched me deep inside
The day Andy turned into a pie.

So, hello and hi, Mr. AndyGrant pie.
Mixed the cherry with the berries,
So the pie wasn’t dry.
And them good old boys were puzzling with Ʊ and ¶
Singing, this’ll be the day that I die.
Mino’ll turn me into banoffee pie.

Did you write the cipher of love?
And do you have faith in Sparky above?
If the Mino tells you so?
Do you believe in decrypto?
Can playfair save your puzzled soul?
Andy, can you teach me how to really solve?

Well, I know that you’re in love with pie
‘cause I saw you eating one last night.
You kicked off your shoes.
Man, I dig your pink fluffy curves.


Embarassed
tip: never let yourself be caught in a bet with Kelly, you'll lose, badly!

PS Yours is so much better Andy, it's obvious that you did yours with passion (not that I'm not passionate about you and your pink fluffy curves, just not passionate about public displays of affection Wink )


Last edited by Radka on 25 Mar 2008 8:20 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Kelly

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Joined: 19 Apr 2006
Posts: 2906
Location: UK

PostPosted: 25 Mar 2008 8:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hahahahaha class! Wd Raddy!

But no, I posted that reply to Andy at 5.21p.m, that's what reminded me about our bet!

You rock, I love you as much as I love Joseph (but in a more wholesome way)
xxx

www.JosephMcKelheer.com
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theandygrant

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Joined: 19 Feb 2006
Posts: 176

PostPosted: 30 Mar 2008 6:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aw, I've gone all shy now!

Thanks for that. It was really pietastic!

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered...
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animoose

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Joined: 07 Jun 2008
Posts: 14
Location: Venice, California

PostPosted: 15 Jun 2008 7:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I didn't compose this one, but it deserves bringing to your attention:

http://www.sing365.com/music/Lyric.nsf/The-Minotaur's-Song-lyrics-The-Incredible-String-Band/F75265FB74D2F2D048256DD7000A8C7A

"I'll do what's wrong as long as I can" sounds like me trying to solve some of these puzzles.

As always, at a slight angle to the universe
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timcat

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Joined: 29 Mar 2009
Posts: 30
Location: USA

PostPosted: 31 Mar 2009 6:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I lol'd. Twice. xP
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